Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
