Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
