You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
