Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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