So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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