Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
wow bdsm is so cute
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
