i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
