Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
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We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
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Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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