Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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