It's chlamydia! Thank God!
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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