Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
