I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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