I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Still dying that you shit outside
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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