Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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