I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
