11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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