Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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