New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
this is an emotional support booty call
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I had to cum in my sink.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
