You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
