our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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