You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
