He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
