It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
