i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
