If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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