I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
