I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
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