I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
