Can Purell be used as lube?
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
