Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
this just has baby written all over it
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
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