He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Randomize
