i'm lost and i look like a hooker
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize