What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
It was like giving head to a cactus.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
