were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I need to calm my uterus...
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
