I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
