he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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