I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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