Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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