Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
