what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
