Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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