i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
