your parents love me but you hate me
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
