that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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