Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
