Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
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There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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