I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
