I'm lost and stupid without you.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
