Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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