Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
