it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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