Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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