we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
