i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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