Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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