I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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