Where did you get a picture of my penis
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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