We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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