Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
