Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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