can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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