I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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